DIAGRAMS FOR AUDIO LISTENERS:
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READING LIST
Art by Committee by Charna Halpern
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
Employees First, Customers Second by Vineet Nayar
Motivational Enhancement Therapy Manual: A clinical research guide for therapists treating individuals with alcohol abuse and dependence by William R. Miller, Ph.D., Allen Zweben, D.S.W., Carlo C. DiClemente, Ph.D., and Robert G. Rychtarik, Ph.D.
Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change by Drs. William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
The Servant by James C. Hunter
The Serving Leader by Kenneth R. Jennings & John Stahl-Wert
Truth in Comedy by Charna Halpern, Del Close & Kim "Howard" Johnson
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
Employees First, Customers Second by Vineet Nayar
Motivational Enhancement Therapy Manual: A clinical research guide for therapists treating individuals with alcohol abuse and dependence by William R. Miller, Ph.D., Allen Zweben, D.S.W., Carlo C. DiClemente, Ph.D., and Robert G. Rychtarik, Ph.D.
Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change by Drs. William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
The Servant by James C. Hunter
The Serving Leader by Kenneth R. Jennings & John Stahl-Wert
Truth in Comedy by Charna Halpern, Del Close & Kim "Howard" Johnson
GOING DEEPER WITH CONCEPTS IN THE BOOK:
Here are webinars, activities you can try and additional information about certain ideas referenced in the book.
Newton's Laws of Motion + Mindful ImprovThis is a 47 minute training I offered in the Peace Building Conspirators facebook group all about what we can learn from Newton's Laws of Motion when we think of them in terms of emotional momentum during confrontation.
You can find replays of all the mindful improv trainings offered in that group here. |
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Concentric Circles of Identity & Beliefs vs. Values ExerciseAs I shared in the book, this idea came to me while I was developing content for the first Freedom Through Forgiveness seminar. I used it to develop a tool called Beliefs vs. Values, which can be helpful for self discovery and as a tool in a group setting.
To run the exercise start by sharing that a belief is anything you believe to be true, while a value is why that matters/why that is important to you. The value is the deeper why. Explain that dialogue during disagreement can become much more productive when the WHY is discussed more than the beliefs themselves. Explain that the purpose of this exercise is to better understand the why behind our own beliefs, and begin talking more deeply with one another about the WHY behind theirs as well. |
- Instruct each participant to write down ~ 3 beliefs that they hold. These can be anything at all! For example: Jay walking is bad. Libraries are good. Public education is important. Voting is part of being a good citizen.
- Pass out the list of core human values, which you can download here. (Enjoy the wonky formatting and know that when I say "It is safe to be imperfect, you are enough." I mean it ;) )
- Instruct participants to look at the list and identify which core values are behind the various beliefs on their list. Allow a few minutes for reflection.
- Ask for a few participants who are willing to share a belief from their list and the value(s) they discovered behind them.
- Ask if anyone felt surprised about the value another participant reported was behind their belief; Would anyone have guessed a different value was behind the stated belief?
When I lead the exercise, I share the story (and you may too if you'd like) of doing this exercise with my husband on a lunch date. One of his beliefs was "It's important to follow the rules, even if no one is watching." I had written down "Rules are meant to be broken." This was not a huge shock to either of us, since we've known for the duration of our relationship that he is a rule-follower and I am a rule-breaker... but what was surprising to us is that we both selected integrity as the value behind those beliefs. I viewed rule-following and rule-assertion as a power grab, or a fear-based lack of independent thinking. He viewed my rule-breaking as stubbornness or disrespect. We still don't always agree! But there is a deep sense of trust present in our passionate debates when we run into this difference in worldview.
EFT Tapping
Emotional Freedom Technique tapping has become a meaningful part of my healing, self-acceptance and mindfulness practice. This video explains how I've incorporated mindful improv thinking to this practice and how it can help in you feel more calm in intense situations, and also become a part of your forgiveness work!
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The Transtheoretical Model of Behavior ChangeI made the following illustration of Dr. James Prochaska & Dr. Carlo DiClemente's model of behavior change. This understanding informed the stages of forgiveness you read about in the book. Forgiveness has a lot to do with changing the way we think about our stories and our future. It makes sense the the stages involved with changing behavior and the stages involved with changing a thought could be similar! You can learn more about The Transtheoretical Model (or TTM) here, or by doing a google.com/scholar search if you'd really like to do a deep dive.
Here is where you can read more about Dr. James Prochaska and his work at The University of Rhode Island, and Dr. Carlo DiClemente and his work at The University of Maryland Baltimore County. |
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REPLAYS FROM THE READ ALONG:
1: The Core Five28 mins.
Watch this to hear more about mindful improv skills for engaging confrontation with integrity, the Mennonite background of Third Way thinking and how forgiveness first impacts the outcome of confrontational conversations. |
2: A New Understanding of Yes, And26 mins.
Watch this to hear more about inherent worthiness vs. proving energy, the deeper significance of Yes, And, thoughts on how to keep rituals meaningful and the value of bringing Motivational Interviewing to the HR space. |
3. Healing Your Soul Spine |
4. Freedom Through Forgiveness |
23 mins.
Watch this to hear more about maintaining alignment through the day, allowing negative feelings to illuminate new truth, and processing inherited trauma. |
20 mins.
Watch this to hear more about what forgiveness is and isn't, and why forgiveness is the most critical leadership soft skill |
5. And-ing with impact
33 mins.
Watch this video to hear about how forgiveness causes leaders to create a lasting impact on their companies and spheres of influence. I share three key ways a leaders' forgiveness work can begin to impact culture and respond to questions about building trust with people who have shown themselves to be untrustworthy. |
6. Bigger Than All of Us
17 mins.
Watch this to hear more about my vision for what leadership can be in the world when leaders use the workplace environment to teach employees how to engage conflict honorably, speak up readily, balance support and accountability appropriately and ultimately participate in an environment of curiosity over judgement. These are the foundations of a healthy culture and the foundations of world peace. |